Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Smoking the Weed in Pregnancy =/


Ok I annoyed. Really annoyed. I circulated for a moms Csection early this am. Nurse gave me report and noted mom admitted to Pot smoking as recent as one week ago. One Week Ago!!!! She willingly and knowinly subjected Her baby to pot. I don't get it!!! How Stupid can you be? Gosh!
As a L&D nurse I can tell you I bond with my moms during labor. I feel close to them and encourage and support them in their labor plans.

But moms like this get a diffeant approach from me. Oh I do my job...and do it well. But I have no emotional tie to the mom. I just do the job. I lavish joy on that sweet baby when its born, but I feel contempt for the mother deep in my heart. They don't know. I don't show it. But I just can't get all warm feeling about mothers who abuse their children like that. Anyone else feel like me? It makes me sick to my stomach....

9 comments:

Marlene said...

My honest opinion is that mothers like that ought to be charged with child endangerment, or abuse. It IS abuse, in my opinion. Grrrrr. Yup, I am with you on this one.

molly said...

ok Jodes, I'm going to go out on a limb here about your comments with a lesson I learnt a long time ago.

When, like new I was new to the game I once made a comment to the Matron (in our old days they were Matrons, not Directors of Nursing or some other name)LOL

She very quickly put me in my place about the comment I'd made by telling me the clients background (about which I had no knowledge but had passed judgement anyway).

Her final comment was...walk a mile in her shoes first.

Now I am not disagreeing with your thoughts that it was irresponsible, but heres a couple of hypotheticals:
1....she was a first time mother, having been abused by her mother for so many years, she was terrified she would repeat the pattern
2...She was having a baby she couldnt afford and was stewing about how she would cope
3....she was having an unplanned baby and was terrified of the consequences
4....her partner is abusive and she cant find a way out

Of course all these are airy fairy "I dont know the history" comments, but I would just comment that we dont know everything about our patients lives, nor would we want to, we would be walking wrecks, but I do think our priviliged position as a nurse means we should leave the judgements at the door and give the same compassion to all, who knows, it may just be you that makes her see another path to choose.

We dont all do what is right all the time and we all make stupid mistakes that affect others, I dont condone in any way what she did, but our role is to care, to nurture. Perhaps have a quiet talk to her....who knows what changes you could bring :)

Once you start to pass judgement, you will treat your patients differently, and whilst you may think it does't show, it will to the patient.

Blessings:)

San Diego Momma said...

Even after Molly's wonderful comments, I still find this a selfish thing for a pregnant woman to do..it's not just about her anymore.

I wouldn't be able to help but feel some resentment for her.

Jody said...

Mols,
I appreciate your post. It really took time and I understand what you're saying.

I want to say tho, that I said I do Not treat those kind of patients any differant that They would see...just that I don't bond with them emotionally like I do most patients. They cannot tell because I'm Very good at keeping myself professional. Of this I'm sure.

Now without sounding argumentative, I have to say that I don't believe that being in a difficult situation gives you the right or excuse to harm your infant. I just don't buy it. I know life can be hard, and I know not all babys come into this world wanted or planned. I see it everyday. But I feel that if you take on the responsibility of having a child, you should put anything that could harm your child out of your life. To smoke dope, shoot up drugs or smoke and drink is just..disgusting to me.

I don't think any of us "leave out judgements" at the door when we meet people. We "judge" people everyday. That doesn't mean we act out of our thoughts, or treat people differantly. But we do form opinions.

Well thats just my thoughts.
I continue to compassionately treat All my patients the same even with my personal thoughts and opinions. I know every birth is a miracle even if the parents have no clue. And they must not understand the miracle if they're abusing their body and their babys body.

Just my opinon. Its why I blog lol. Thanks Molly!

Marlene said...

Have to agree with Joanne 100% here. As human beings, we *do* judge people everyday (whether we admit it, or not)...and it doesn't mean we have to act negatively on those judgments. One can still be professional in his/her job when one does not agree with what another is doing.

Also agree with San Diego momma....it's not just about the mother anymore. She has (had) another life inside of her for which she was fully responsible to keep from potential harm. She failed that one.

Having said all of that, however, I also commend Molly for she seems to be a very compassionate person, and as a nurse, that is a quality that is very important. (So, Molly, while I disagree with some of your points, I do think you sound like a wonderful nurse!)

Prisca said...

Yeah, we have moms who admit to smoking the stuff right before they came in AND I even had an abrupting mom who told me last week she smoked crack "a little while ago." My patients are a rough crowd.

Crazy.

I am Barking Mad said...

When I was in labour with the twins, eons ago, there was a woman in the next room who was handcuffed to her bed. We shared the same OB and through the grapevine I'd heard that she was abusing an opiate and my doc warned her at her last appt. that if she came in either high or her tox screen came back negative, he was going to get a court order to have her remanded to the hospital.

The judge did him one better. He gave my doc legal guardianship of the woman as she was deemed unable to make decisions for herself.

From what I recall she stayed there until she delivered.

Makes me angry that women can be so selfish. Whilst I don't know personal hx's or any subsequent dx's that might lead them to abuse, it just seems horribly self-centered to think of no one but yourself, when you know you're carrying a child.

Just my 2.5 cents.

Auds
www.abritandabit.typepad.com

BHamster said...

I also view drug use during pregnancy as irresponsible, but what really annoys me are fellow nurses who base their assessments on a complete lack of facts. Moderate chocolate consumption during pregnancy has been found to be far more teratogenic then heavy, daily marijuana use. Studies have shown that the amount of marijuana use required to potentially harm a baby would require smoking the equivalent of at least 6-8 joints daily for every day of a pregnancy. Do you judge occasional coffee drinkers or chocolate eaters the same way? My guess is you are making more of a social judgement than a medical one.

Jody said...

Ok BHamster I'm ready to discuss this with you a bit more. I totally disagree with what you said. Sorry but I've talked with some of the Docs here and they do Not discourage moms from eating Chocolate during pregnancy. I don't know where you got your information from; but I can't substantiate it at all. Newp!
But I can substantiate the brain and nervous system damage smoking weed does to babys while in the womb. It also causes a higher risk of leukemia. I could go on and on.
Chocolates? Please. Sounds like an excuse. Poor one at that.