Reflections

I caught the reflections of tree's in my photo of the wavy glass I saw Everywhere in Williamsburg yesterday. I love that glass!

On Vacation here...

..but Still taking a few mins to post here. It's sorta a mini vacation I suppose; being only 4 days long. But considering all I could get Off from work was 6 days..well it is what it is.

We decided to take the trip south to Williamsburg and that's where we spent the day. And it was 100 degrees! But I love the place. And it was full of wonderful gorgeous things to photograph. So, since its late, and everyone wants the lights off; I'll post a few pictures I snapped with my new camera =)

Tomorrow its either the Water park, (which is giNormous) or Busch Gardens. Not sure which yet. I Did note that Busch Gardens is FULL of FREAKIN high rollarcoasters tho *shivers*.

Note-Ok so this lame hotel internet won't Upload my lovely pics. So for now I can't show you. But I will...soon.

About Last Night...

...it was like night and day. My shift started at 1900 and I was listed as working in Periop. This means I either go into the OR with a C Section mom and "do" the baby. Meaning I take the baby fresh from the open womb and dry him/her vigurously with the Pediatrician and assess the baby; give the meds; put bracelets on, ect ect. I'll try not to bore you lol.

Anyway last night I commented on my Moms Huge belly as we prepped her for the surgery. I mean she was Ginormous! Well you can always get a pretty good idea about the size of a baby as soon as the Doc pulls the head out. This babys cheeks were just fatter than I've ever seen! Weight of this baby was 12lbs 1oz. I'm Not kidding you!! Wow she beat Me I said lol. My first baby was 11lbs 7 and 3/4oz. Peanuts compaired to this little boy!! Sad thing was he had to go to NICU tho. Baby was grunting and had a low blood sugar. But he will be fine. Just needs a bit of help to get his system working well. He was absolutely adorable. I could of just kissed him!

Later I was covering for a nurse who had to leave the unit for her break. Her pt. was 20 weeks with twins and in PTL. Pre Term Labor. She was lying in Trendelenburg position which means her feet were higher than her head! Looked Uncomfortable! Her BIG problem was one of her babys amniotic bag had ruptured and his little leg was down in moms vagina. NOT a good thing BTW! Basically this is a death sentence. The baby is too young to save...and its only a matter of time, probaby days before he is born. A baby is not viable ( I hate that word!) until about 24 weeks. She put her light on and I answered it..
"I feel more movement in my vagina than I did earlier" she said. Ohh no I think. I get the resident and she does a speculum exam. She points out the little leg protruding in the moms vagina. This is a heartbreaking situation. The parents are in their mid 30s and have no children. This is an IVF. In Vitro Fertilization pregnancy.
The "hope" is to sew her cervix shut once baby A is born. Can this work? Probably not...but it could. So I reassure the mom and say a little prayer in my mind as I walk out her door. I also said a prayer for her NOT to deliver while I was in charge of her for the next 30 mins. Lucky for me she did not.

So I had highs and lows at work last night. Great joy for a sweet fat little baby boy and great sadness for the small living but doomed babys still unborn.

..I still love my job tho. It's strange the strength that comes to you when you need it. When I think about some of these things I feel really saddened and ackward about dealing with the situations. But when they actually happen, I step up to the plate. I get pleasure in doing what I can do to help. Thank God!!

...n One more!

I love these little guys too. Ever find one? It's called a Hummingbird Moth. And I swear when you see them you Almost think they're a small bird. IE a hummingbird.
They're all over my butterfly bush. Fascinating!

Ever see one of These?

I Love my new Camera! I made a photo boo boo here tho. Butterflys too centered. It's still pretty tho eh?

Top 10 Things Not to Say to Your Wife in the Last Week of Pregnancy!

I found these reading and thought I'd share. Now I can Just imagine some men actually Saying these things to women. Trust me. I've heard some I could add here!
Sometimes I think this whole "support" persons thing is a bad thing lol. I have to shhhhh them! Amazing really...

1.Honey, I don’t mean to alarm you, but have you ever read about anyone actually popping from being so big?

2.Hey Babe, is it OK that I invited some of the guys from work over to see how big you are? They won’t believe me.

3.Honey, come in here and see this horse giving birth on TV. Oh, man that looks like that’s gotta hurt.

4.Honey, I was just straightening up the bedroom…can you tell me if this is a fitted sheet or a pair of your underwear?

5.You’re dreading labor?! Do you know how sore my feet get from standing beside you that whole time?

6.Boy it would be really nice if you went a week or two late so I could watch the six-part mini-series on PBS.

7.No, I couldn’t eat another bite honey. I ate so much I feel…like you.

8.Why don’t you go take a nice, relaxing, hot bath? But don’t put much water in the tub because it’ll overflow when you get in.

9.No, you don’t look huge. “Huge” is such a harsh word…I prefer the term “healthy.”

Little Kitten Pictures I Swear!!

Lol ok so maybe my recent post on Infant Death was wayyy too morbid and morose for most. So I want you to see my kitten pics. NOoo I'm not selling out! Or being trite.
I really Did take these kitten pics!

Ok so here's the scoop. Our neighbors Very nicely let us come over and swim in their lovely in ground pool whenEver we want. Today we wanted too..and when we arrived she told us about the 2 kittens that one of her boarders brought home. Apparently she found them sitting by the side of the road. Awww I hear ya! These are the most lovely friendly adorable balls of fluff I've seen in Eons. Well besides my Elvis and Sassy that is~
..and No they do Not know I was cooing and swooning over these little ones. Ahem.
Ok so back to the story. I have my new camera which Thankfully I had brought with me to take some swimming photo's. These kittens are Not fural, they def. have been brought up with people. They aren't even afraid of the dogs...

So without further adeu, here are some sweet little kitty pictures. I hope my photography bloggin friends jump in and offer Any and all suggestions. Thanks guys. Stay cool..its HOT out there!

Elvis!

Ok so Finally today at 3pm my vet gave me a call. Elvis's blood tests all came out normal! Well I should say he had a T3 and T4; the T4 being slightly elevated but the T3 normal which makes it all a normal high. Ok so thats nurse chat lol.
All normal. He ran the gammet of tests too...

So the option is this. To totally put our minds at rest he said we could do a needle biopsy. Come in the am and leave in the afternoon. Slight sedation and send the spec off to a pathologist.

I'm calling now to see how much; but we've decided we're going to do it no matter What the cost. Just so our minds can be at peace....

Saying Hello and Saying Goodbye..

...this will be a difficult subject to blog on; but one that needs to be shared.

Childbirth is something we go into fully expecting to finish with a fresh pink lusty crying baby. But sometimes that's not the case. In fact, Until I worked in the L&D dept. I never realized how many baby didn't get to have that chance.Everyone feels being an L&D nurse is attractive because most of the time the "patients" aren't really patients. Because they're not sick, they're in their prime of life. There is loads of suffering tho. Women in labor, even with epidurals which are so popular today Still have alot of discomfort. There is always some mucous, feces, urine, blood and usually vomit. As a nurse there is only so much you can do to alleviate the pain. It's difficult sometimes to remain composed while helping a mom deal with these discomforts of delivery.

So we like to think its always happy in L&D. But death is always lurking on the unit. Its a common occurrence. More than I realized! As you monitor the mom's strip closely evaluating the FHT's (fetal heart tones) you always have to keep in mind the real possibility that this new little baby might not get to see the light; and may quickly decelerate and god forbid, die on you.

Sometimes the Mom goes to her doctors visit and he has to tell her that there are no heart tones; that they baby's died. And they just don't know why. This can happen at any stage of pregnancy unfortunately.

My patient the other night had been told her baby was gone. She was scheduled to come into the hospital the next day and have her labor induced. As I approached this young couple I could see the pain they were carrying. Tears were dried on both their faces and the veil of death hung over them. It felt strange to walk them down the hall past mothers with healthy infants sat just feet away in their safe rooms. It just felt so wrong.

As I explained what I was going to do; I tried to be most respectful of their pain. I first told them how sorry I was for their pain. For their loss...
Its a hard thing to put into words. But we know that its best dealt with face on. Their baby died. Not their fetus, nor did they lose a "pregnancy". They lost their child, no matter what the gestational age. That's how I feel and that's how I deal with it. Its a real child and needs their place in the family recognized.
This mom was 23 weeks along. It seems to be a common time of fetal death. There must be a very important transformation that happens around that time; and sometimes it just doesn't happen.

I hooked her up to a monitor to see her contractions after having her change into the gown. They I started her IV and her pitocin. I then told her when her contractions became difficult to manage to let me know and I'd call the anesthesiologist for her epidural. This mom did Not need to get any award for her stoicism during labor.

The labor took almost 10 hrs to produce a birth. A stillborn baby girl was delivered and placed in my hands. I wrapped her gently in a blanket and took her to the warming table to tidy her up. It is policy to encourage parents of dead infants to see, touch and hold their babies after delivery. At first, most parents are horrified and decline quickly. But usually after a bit, they tentatively ask to at least see the baby, after we explain how this helps with the grieving process. Research has shown that parents are better able to resolve their loss better if they see their baby and know what they look like. This also gives them the opportunity to say goodbye.

As I carefully cleaned and wrapped this little baby, my heart was breaking. With tears in my eyes I went to the bedside and told the parents they could see and hold her when they were ready. They knew how to get in touch with me, and I left the room to allow them to have their time together. Then I went into the bathroom and just cried until I felt empty.

The parents did want to see and hold their baby after about 30 mins. I gently picked her up and placed her in her mothers arms. The mother broke down and just sobbed. That's when my tears started up again. I bent down and hugged the mom and just said "I'm so sorry..so sorry". The parents held that baby for 5 hrs before they were ready to give her up. They had the grandparents come visit and everyone had their chance to say goodbye. It was heart wrenching but I felt a sense of peace that they were dealing with their horror face on. They were so strong...
So this is the dark side of my job. Lucky for me, they rotate the IUFD's amongst the staff so its fair and distributed evenly. I should not have another demise for weeks, hopefully months. Its very hard and very heartbreaking.

We as nurses do everything we can to facilitate healing of this suffering. We take photo's and wrap the little one in precious clothes handmade by women somewhere who make extra small gowns and bonnets just for these babies. You can see the love sewn into these garments. We give the parents a memory box filled with things to remember their child by. The measuring tape, the clothes the baby was dressed in, photo's and a small teddy. This teddy appears in the photo next to the baby. As harsh and terrible as this all sounds, it really does validate this child's life as best we can.

If the parents don't want the box at the time of discharge, its put into storage for a time when they probably will want it.

My heart was heavy that day as I walked off the floor. But I knew I had done all I could to tenderly and carefully care for this family.
I was glad to come into my next shift and have someone just getting ready to push. To see that 8lb 9oz baby enter the world screaming made me dizzy with joy!

..I go back to work tonight. I never know what is waiting for me..but I Love my job. This is why I became a nurse.

Love Talking but...

Aghhh No Time to blog! I have thoughts tumbling around in my head. But I'll have to hold them til tomorrow. Anyway, know I miss ya's!! Keep up the great blogging work btw =)